King David Had A Thousand Wives

King David had a thousand wives, a thousand wives had he, and all around the palace ran his little ones, each with a thousand mothers and one father divided one thousand ways. One thousand pieces of David are not enough for each little one to get a hug, or a ‘No. Don’t do that.” The little ones run round the palace seeking their father and finding only the eunuch servant. One eunuch at least for each one thousand wives. One thousand wives and one thousand eunuchs, oh boy! King David had a thousand wives, a thousand wives had he, and not a hug for little ones or praise for what might be.

Actually he had eight known wives, nineteen sons and one daughter, Tamar, who was raped by her brother Amnon who was David’s firstborn. There may have been other wives. The concubines are not listed, and there may have been other sons and daughters.

King Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. “Sorry dear, but I can’t see you until February of next year. By the way do we have any children?” Was Solomon wise or otherwise? Imagine the family dynamics.

Today we do it differently, or so we think. Each man in fantasy the king of his castle, each man has one wife. Wait. Wait. That’s not how it goes. Each woman in fantasy is the ruler of her castle, each woman has one husband … Wait, wait, that can’t be right … it doesn’t matter. Both of them are too busy to really spend time with their kids and they don’t even have a eunuch to substitute for them, except for the TV and mostly that’s eunuch enough anyway, but at least the one thousand eunuchs were alive and not just a box in the living room.