Grumpy Bear

Ordinarily he seems quite quiet, retiring, at times almost even-tempered, rousing only to don his little conical cap and red plastic nose and ride around the ring on his silver unicycle.  He actually enjoys it, or at least he thinks that he does; but that is only his public face. The ineffable indescribable interior bear at times would most often like to be left alone.  “I want to be left alone!” but that is not really true.  He actually doesn’t want to be left alone, at least not for very long although he will tell you that he prizes solitude, as he does for a little while each day.

In those times that he wants to be left alone, something else is going on.  I think that deep down in those moments that he is frightened, frightened of being hurt again, frightened of rejection, that’s why he doesn’t want to be left alone when he wants to be left alone, if you know what he means.  He is afraid on things around him going out of control, not that he wants to control the things around him, but he is afraid of the nearby world being out of control.  For him that finds it source in his wicked step-mother.  She found her release in raging, and he was often the butt of her tirades, in those moments he wanted always to be left alone taking refuge in his little den in the basement with his pile of books. 

The den and the books were a refuge, a very good, and very legitimate refuge; it was there that he learned that he could find the grace to come out from the den, perhaps to ride his little silver unicycle, but even better to roam through the greening forest glens and golden meadows.  Out there, away from the den, away from the circus ring and the thin and distant laughter he could romp, could leap, could run through the meadows with abandoned joy; and when the dark threatening skies become stormy again he wants to be left alone again, not really alone, but quietly resting for a little while in his little den by the waterfall listening to the plash of the stream upon the glistening river rocks.  Waiting for the storm to pass by so that once more he can come out of the den, to smell the rain washed earth, and feel the cooling breeze and warming sun.