Suppose

Reflections in the Coffee Shop

She really shouldn’t wear tight clothes.  Size 16 stuffed into Size 12 looks ridiculous.  It is not a matter of sexual attraction or revulsion.  Rather than that it is a matter of poor taste and a lack of modesty.  Modesty?  What on earth is that?  Modesty is a lost virtue in our society. 

Suppose that modesty or the lack of modesty could be assigned an olfactory value.  Let me be clear.  Suppose that modesty could be assigned a fragrance, and the lack of modesty could be assigned an odor.  “You are all roses today my dear,” or, “What’s that funny smell of sardines?  It must be your large posterior shoe-horned into tight jeans.”

Am I simply being rude?  I have a feeling that people who lack modesty in dress are seeking attention.  It probably never occurs to them that their tight jeans invite not admiration, but negative comment.  Instead of roses they smell like sardines.  “What’s that drifting down the road looking like the Good Year Blimp?”  It’s only Myrtle wrapped in spandex.  Let’s hope the wind isn’t blowing in our direction.

One must be even handed.  Men may not wear tight jeans.  Our poor taste isn’t by and large a lack of modesty in the usual sense, but rather poor judgment.  Men tend to dress like slobs.  “See that man over there?”  His belly is so large that he can’t tuck his “T” shirt into his jeans and his “T” shirt just flops in the breeze.  Let’s just hope he doesn’t raise his arms or we might get an embarrassing glimpse of a pallid hairy gut, and what is that smell?  Do you detect the distinct odor of pig farm?