Lobstah Fishin’

“This is the latest report from our Down East Correspondent Shadrach Spencer”

                Floyd Ireson and his brother Ronnie were the proud owners of the Blue Beard, the most towed in boat in Owl’s Head, Maine, The Blue Beard were a lovely 38 foot Holland Lobstah Boat, at least it were when it were new.

                The Ireson brothers most often had a tankful themselves afore they set out to pull a few lobstah pots. T’other lobstah men kept a sharp eye out when the Ireson’s headed out of the harbor; you just didn’t know whose pots they’d pull.

                About mid-morning, after fortifying’ themselves with a couple o’ bottles of Moosehead Beer, they’d drive ovah to the fish packin’ plant and pick up a bucket of fish scraps to bait the traps with, an’ right stinky them scraps were too, I tell yuh!

                Floyd would say, “Smell that humdiddy, better’n parfum to them lobstahs!”

                Well, one mornin’ after picking up their bucket of bait they headed down to the harbor and borried a punt an’ sculled out to the Blue Beard and started her up. The engine coughed a few times, whuka-whucka-whuka and then started right up. Then they steered out a’tween the channel markers and headed for the open sea. 

About fifteen minutes later Floyd looked carefully around, an’ not seein’ anybody near, he says, to Ronnie, “Now Ronnie, you jes’ keep an eye open for them red and white striped lobstah buoys we saw last week.”

Ronnie said, “You know they ain’t ours, Floyd;” then a minute later he hollered out, “Look there they are; let’s see what they got.”

Floyd and Ronnie pulled up the first pot in the string an’ took out all the lobstah’s that were over the size limit, threw the culls, the small ones and them with only one claw, back in the trap with a little bait and tossed the lobstah pot back in the water. Jes’ as they were getting ready to pull the next pot Floyd lost his balance and fell ovah the side and began screamin’ for help.

“Ronnie, you know I cain’t swim, blubbed Floyd with a mouth full of sea water, haul me up out’a here.”

Ronnie reached ovah and jes’ managed to get a holt of the Floyd’s shirt collah and was haulin’ him up over the gunwale when the Blue Beard shuddered and Floyd fell back in the water.

The Blue Beard had been bumped pretty hard by Bill Thomas’s boat, “A Little Bit O’ Malarky” outa Casco Bay. The Little Bit O” Malarky had come up alongside the Blue Beard and Bill Thomas come up over the gunwale shoutin’ "them’s my lobstah’s, you thievin’ pirates.” Then he saw what was a-happenin’ and set to laughin’.

He was laughin’ so hard he forgot thet he was angry. Finally he said, “That’ll larn yuh two pirates not steal my lobstah.”

Meanwhile Floyd was ‘most to drownin’ and Ronnie had grabbed the back of Floyd’s shirt with a grapplin’ hook and was tryin’ to haul him back over the gunwale. When Bill Thomas stopped a-laughin’ he helped Ronnie pull Floyd over the gunwale and back onto the deck.  Floyd looked most like a drowned rat.

Bill Thomas, still laughin’, looked at them two rascals and said, “Well boys, you can jes’ help me pull the rest o’ my pots, seein’ as how you got a good start on the job.”

The Ireson boys wuz a little shame faced, mostly ‘cause they wuz caught, and they did what they wuz asked. With their unwillin’ help Bill Thomas got his pots pulled a little faster that day.

It didn’t help their disposition none when Bill began chanting in a sing song sorta voice,

Poor Floyd Ireson for his hard heart,

Drowned like a rat an’ not so smart

For stealin’ lobstah’s on the coast o’ Maine.

They jes’ knowed that one was goin’ to get around and it would be a mite of time afore it would all blow ovah and things returned to normal. In the meantime they’d jes have to pull their own pots and leave everybody else’s alone.