A News Flash from our Down East Correspondent Shadrach Spencer

Maynard and Otis Go A Turkey Hunting

Maynard Wilkins was a takin’ Otis Handley out a turkey huntin’ on a fahrm up Vassalboro way. The fahrmer was Maynard’s friend and said he could hunt anytime it were wild turkey season, but to stop by the house fuhst to let him know he was theyah.

On the day they went out to hunt, Maynard said that he needed to stop by the house an’ talk to the fahrmer. 

They drove right up to the house and Maynard got out of the pickup truck a sayin’ he’d be right back. While inside the house, the fahrmer told Maynard he had a mule that needed to be put down but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d had the old mule for a long time so Maynard said he’d take care of it.

Maynard thought he’d play a joke on Otis so he walked out of the house and went over to his pickup truck, reached in, got his rifle and went over and shot the mule. Then Otis asked what he was a doin’. Maynard told him that the fahrmer was a jerk and had said that they couldn’t hunt; so he was mad and shot the mule to teach the fahrmer a lesson.  

            Before Maynard knew it, Otis had grabbed his rifle, jumped out of the truck and shot two cows that were a standin’ in the field near the mule.  Then Otis said to Maynard that the fahrmer shouldn’t be such a jerk an’ that maybe a shootin’ his cows would teach him a bettah lesson.

A true story, thanks to Ken Parkhurst, but transported from Texas and adapted to Maine.